Family or a Team?

Last week, I attended a parent-teacher meeting at my daughter's school.

She and her classmates were doing what five year olds do — wandering, getting distracted, doing everything except what they were supposed to. And through all of it, her two teachers were calm, patient, and completely unruffled. Not a raised voice. Not a flicker of frustration.

I sat there wishing that I had that kind of patience with my own team at work.

And as I was holding on to that thought, I suddenly asked myself, should I?

That question took me back to a quarterly key managers meeting at Bhoruka, where I raised something that I feel strongly about. Something that most organisations get fundamentally wrong.

We keep calling ourselves a family.

"We are a family here." "We support each other like family." You hear it everywhere. It sounds warm. It sounds right. But it sets the wrong expectations.

Reed Hastings, co-founder of Netflix, was one of the first leaders to say this out loud. His answer was to stop thinking of Netflix as a family and start thinking of it as a championship sports team.

Think about a cricket team. Every player has one shared objective, which is, to win. And if a player consistently underperforms, no matter how much the team may like them personally, they are dropped. Not out of cruelty. Because the objective is to win.

Now think about a family. If a family member is struggling, you don't cut them off. You support them, guide them, and never give up on them. Because that is what families do.

Both are beautiful. But they are not the same thing.

When leaders confuse the two, they carry low performers for too long, avoid difficult conversations, and protect people based on loyalty rather than contribution. And slowly, the whole team and eventually the firm suffers.

The best teams are built on a simple foundation. High standards. Honest feedback. A shared commitment to winning. And the understanding that every person in the team is there because they are the best person for that role right now.

So back to my daughters teachers and their extraordinary patience.

Should I bring that same patience to every conversation with my team at Bhoruka?

For a five year old still learning how the world works — absolutely yes.

For a professional who has been given clear expectations, the right tools, and the right support? Patience, yes, but not at the cost of performance. Kindness yes, but not at the cost of standards.

We are not a family. We are a team.

And that is actually a much more exciting thing to be.

I hope this helps you, your team and your firm to Shoot to the Top!